I just realised I can limit a note on fb to myself only. geez. And I managed to change the dumb language back to english already. Wonder how it became french in the first place. wth. Now for myspace..... which is somehow in jap.. T_T
Anyway I was just looking through Facebook... and i duno.. random thought la..
Why would anyone want to put so much makeup on their face now when you will get to do so when you lie in a coffin like couple dozen years down the road?
Yea really No link..no logic..no basis hahaa just random......... ignore me... lol
Tryingt o do financial management like at 2am is crazy... no wonder I'm having outbreaks and ghostly eyes..
The question : Suppose
the expected return on the market is 12%. A security that has a beta of 1.5 and
an expected return of 16% lies on the Security Market Line (SML).
What is the market risk premium?
And the first thing that came to my mind was.. SML = si mi lan. T_T... wth. FM sux. And then I went to blog hop again.
We are searching for a reason of existence with our own hands because maybe there is no reason for life. Everyone hopes and tries so hard to find a reason of existence. The reason of birth, of staying with someone, of existence. Believing we have to find them all with our own hands. Like finding a place for ourselves in dreams, in jobs, in people. The reasons we conclude maybe indefinite and fragile. We may lose it too but even so we want a reason. As long as I'm alive, I want it too. If possible, I want to find a reason of existence within a person, within someone. I want to be able to live my life for someone, a person that welcomes you. Even in the hardest times, I will live to my full capacity. It's ok to be bold. Because to live boldly is proof that you are living the full extent of your life.
If possible I too want to find a place within someone whom I want to eat Takoyaki with. I want to say I am born to be with you. And that someone special will be waiting for those words.
I wonder if my mum's overreacting or if there's something really wrong, But here, I'm helpless... I cannot do anything to affirm her or to understand what is really wrong. Maybe I'm overreacting too.. but I don't want my mum to know I'm worried about her because she will become more worried too. But shouldnt I be used to seeing that already. Maybe because I'm away from home way too long already that I begin to forget.
Actually I'm regreting going to the vietnam or thailan trip with my relatives and brother. I realised that I don't have such time to do everything I want. That means I only have 1 day to give everyone all the gifts I got for them before everyone becomes busy with school again. And I realised my mum will be alone with both me and my brother gone. I'm worried for what might happen when both are so emotionally unstable... and I really don't want my mum to be so tired all the time anymore...
And so she told me not to worry and to study hard to provide for her so that she won't have to work so much anymore. I think that is the faith she put in us that makes her carry on everyday.. and I admire her for that. How can someone believe in the future when it's so uncertain? And sometimes I stress myself to work harder and harder... but most of the times under stress I just run and hide.. and give up.. maybe if I don't take it so seriously things might turn out easier.. but I'm reminded time and again...
I wonder why is it that we are not really that poor, but my mum have to work 2 jobs...until she complain that she's so tired everyday... that she cannot have enough sleep.. And when I told her not to work so hard.. she tell me then where to get the money from... Why is it that others' poorer than us are able to live life happier than us? Are we really that hard to be satisfied? I don't think so. Are we materialistic people? That can never be the case.... my mum is someone who is easily contented just like me.
Sometimes I don't really get it.... but I think I know.... it's not about the money right? It's something else that's lacking.... and money is just only an excuse to cover it up....
All I hear is raindrops Falling on the rooftop Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go Cause this pain I feel It wont go away And today I'm officially missing you I thought that from this heartache I could escape But I fronted long enough to know There ain't no way And today I'm officially missing you
Oh can't nobody do it like you Said every little thing you do Hey baby say it stays on my mind And I, I'm officially
All I do is lay around Two ears full of tears From looking at your face on the wall Just a week ago you were my baby Now I don't even know you at all I don't know you at all Well I wish that you would call me right now So that I could get through to you somehow But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say That I'm officially missing you
Well I thought I could just get over you baby But I see that's something I just can't do From the way you would hold me To the sweet things you told me I just can't find a way To let go of you
It official You know that I'm missing you Yeah yes All I hear is raindrops And I'm officially missing you
oh no... im starting on new show.... Wanted to watch supernatural which was showing in Singapore last time.... Nice leh. But i'm alone in my room damn scary sometimes... hate it when things jump out of appear out of no where suddenly. lol...gei kiang still watch :X i damn hum.
Thankfully nothing happened to my family. -.- They are just busy or something. It's beginning to get colder le............. geez. It started snowing again today. I wonder if it's winter already.....
Ever since that day I dreamt about my grand father and something happened to him later, I'm quite worried now.
My parents haven been online for a few days since I last heard from them and my grandfather after he was discharged.. It's quite weird cuz they are the ones always panicking first if they haven't heard from me in a couple of days. And the previous time they didn't I knew something happened, and I was right. It's too easy to see through my parents. I hope nothing has happened. Messaged my bro and mum but no reply yet too... I wonder what is happening... and hmm my brother should be having his A level in a couple of days? Or maybe now. All the best.
I feel damn useless here.. my grandfather had mild stroke/heart attack cuz he didn't eat his high blood pressure medicine and was sent to hospital.. he got discharged le.. but they said if it happened again it would be a major one... and then it would be my grandmother's story on repeat again..haiz.
